Empty Home Syndrome – When your youngest child starts school

By Jane Caughey.

As the end of the summer holidays drew near, I was consumed by mixed emotions. It was the final few weeks where I’d had at least one child home with me on weekdays between the hours of 9am and 3pm.

Yes, I am in the once longed for, now somewhat unsettling position of my youngest child about to start school.

It seems like eons since I have had so much time to myself but, on the other hand, just unfathomable how quickly that time has gone by. When my first baby was born almost 10 years ago, the long days and even longer nights of feeding, settling and generally keeping that precious little human alive was all-consuming.

With the arrival of two more babies in the ensuing three years, my concept of personal freedom was completely obliterated. Choosing to stay at home while my husband worked shift work meant I got to spend my days and nights juggling three pre-schoolers around the clock, only keeping sane by adopting the “triage” approach – attending to whoever needed me the most.

Fast forward to now and I have just spent the day shopping with my youngest daughter to buy her new school shoes and ’wrapper free’ lunchbox. Despite the fact that she is the “most ready” for school (compared to my older two!) and will have, I assume, no worries settling into the routine of Prep (sorry – Foundation – as it’s now unfortunately known), I cannot help but think “What am I going to do now?”

Of course the option to go back to work is ever present but I remember saying to other mums in my position, “This is time for you”. So as I wave my school girl off on that first day, I know I will have to take my own advice. I’ll miss so many things about having her with me during the day but there are also a few upsides… I’ll miss her little body standing in the trolley at the supermarket, but I’ll be able to fit much more inside it without the constant worry of the bread getting squashed.

I’ll miss her holding my hand at the shopping centre, but I won’t have to stop every time we pass the Hello Kitty car for her to have ride.

I’ll miss her cuddles on the couch in the middle of the day but I’ll get to watch my guilty pleasure Dr Phil without worrying about the often explicit content.

I’ll miss watching her attempt creative projects from the craft box, but I definitely won’t miss cleaning up the seemingly endless mess that accompanies such endeavours.

I’ll miss eating lunch together but I’ll be able to finish whatever I have prepared for myself without breaking off bits at her request of “Can I have some of yours?”

So, if you see a forlorn looking woman lolling around the Hello Kitty ride at the nearest shopping centre, remind her that this new freedom is to be embraced, a time to experience the rewards of the new improved PMT (Pre-schooler-free Mother Time) and embrace all that it offers (at least between 9 and 3).

About the author:

Jane is the author of many books for Curriculum Corporation, and for Ziptales. She is a primary teacher of considerable experience (Prep to Grade 6). She has three children, one of whom is autistic.